The Savvy Sage of Sewing Stimulation

Does Saying No Make You Rude?

I’m a professional, so I don’t get this question a lot, however, some of my students do.  As a matter of fact, one of the things I end my beginner class with is “How to Say No!”  That sounds rude, but it’s really not.

Here’s a blog this morning, which is an in your face sort of way of saying the same thing.  It is from the point of view of an artist, however it works very well for we sewists.  If there is any form of guilt you may have for saying “No!’, hopefully this article will spell it out.

It starts with asking artists to participate in a study, but almost 2/3 of them said no.  The response (of those that did respond at all), all said it was because of time.  This article may sound a little Machiavellian so don’t let the tone of it dissuade you from the message, because it’s viable.

Aside from all the smart-alecky  responses from all the artists, there were some salient points that I liked:

  • Time is the raw material of creation
  • Saying “no” has more creative power than ideas, insights and talent combined
  • We are not taught to say “no.”
  • Creators do not ask how much time something takes but how much creation it costs.
  • People who create know how to say “no” and they know how to suffer the consequences of the response.

Time is all we have and there is a limited amount of it….groceries to buy, gas tanks to fill, families to love and day jobs to do, all which are important.  Saying “No” helps keep us sane and on a reasonable working schedule.

  1. Saying no is not rude. But saying yes when you want to say no and then passively-aggressively screwing up/not showing up/not doing what you agreed to do IS rude! So best to just say no in the FIRST PLACE.

  2. I have learned that I never regret saying no, but have regretted saying yes. Knowing this makes it much easier to say no.

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