So True And So Hilarious

Over on What To Wear, they have a hilarious blog – it’s so funny that I can’t resist a comment on each point:

closet17 Signs You Need To Clean Out Your Closet:

Number 1:  You have more shoes than contacts in our cell phone

Their Suggestion:  More is not always merrier, at least when it comes to your footwear. Inexpensive, on-trend shoes should be on the frontline of your giveaway pile. Also weed out any pairs that are simply too beat up to repair—they’re just wasting your space.

My Suggestion: – YEAH – They got this one right!!!

Number 2:  Your wardrobe doesn’t physically fit into your closet.

Their Solution:  When you can’t squeeze one more jacket in your coat closet, and you’re thinking about buying a rolling rack to house your spillover, it’s time to clean house.

My Solution:  Wow – we’re on a roll here!

Number 3:  Your clothes are getting wrinkled do to lack of space

Their Suggestion:  In addition to editing, you can tame a jam-packed closet—and keep smooshed clothes from getting wrinkled—by investing in thin hangers. The right hangers can give you about 25% more space, always a good thing!

My Suggestion: Uh – didn’t we just clean out the closet?….uh why are things still so tight?  Re-read #1 & #2!

Number 4: You haven’t put something on in at least two years, but you’re planning on wearing it…….eventually.

Their Solution:  Ladies, it’s time to get real. We know you love the idea of that blouse or bag, but if it’s not actually getting any use, it’s time to toss it to the curb.

My Solution:   One Word:   I – N – T – E – R – V – E – N – T – I – O – N!!!!  Two years is MAX.  It should be away from your closet (in the garage, attic, basement, under the bed) after one year.  After two years, it’s out – no ifs ands or butts!  (Good Grief I sound power mad….let’s go on – this is fun!!!!)

Number 5: You can’t find what you want in 20 minutes

Their Solution:  Do you find yourself wasting tons of time hunting for your favorite floral skirt? It simply might be because your closet just isn’t organized properly. Try storing your clothing by category—tops, dresses, and jackets—to make your search easier.

My Solution:  Uh…..KNOCK, KNOCK!!!  Anyone in there?  What does it take to get through to you – this is not an organization problem – this is an OVER-STUFFED problem.  The reason you can’t find anything is because there is so much junk in the way.  Without the junk, you can actually see what’s in the closet!!!  (I can feel the vapers coming on, where are my smelling salts!)

Number 6:  You have 32 striped shirts…..and counting.

Their Solution:  You probably buy an unhealthy amount of one item in particular—like striped shirts or sneakers or black pants—as you search for the perfect version. We get it, but it’s time to address the issue. If you have more than five of the exact same piece, you need to edit. Try everything on, and only keep your favorites.

My Solution:  OK, I just recovered from fainthood.  Not only is it time to deal with the issue, you won’t even HAVE this issue if you can see what all is in your closet.  And of course, this is from a site that presumes that EVERYONE is buying their clothes.  The thing is that when you make them, you don’t have to constantly hunt for the perfect one – yeah, you do if you’re shopping, but not if you’re sewing for yourself.  Chalk one up for the sewists!!!!  Y-E-E-E-E-E-S!!!!! (Hi-five comin’ at cha!)

Number 7: You claim you have “nothing to wear” and yet your closet is brimming with clothes.

Their Solution: Click here (and really there are some great ideas there)

My Solution: Keep your closet trim and fit.  Keep it on a diet.  Always weigh in and check to make sure it isn’t getting fat with a lot of junk stuff or double, triple, quadruple of one item (see striped shirt above).  Do this regularly – if you need to monthly.  If seasonally works for you, or annually – whatever works for you.

OK – that was a lot of fun, but the point is that even sites that are promoting buying clothes realize that almost everyone has too much in their closets.  Why is it that as Americans we can’t deal with that?  Is it afraid we’re going to be too poor?….we won’t have any choices?….only poor people have fewer shoes than the Kardashians)?  Get real – amount of clothes has nothing to do with if you’re rich or poor.

I can tell you, living with a simple elegant closet that has nothing but what works for me means I go right to what I want to wear;  I find instantly what I’m looking for;  nothing gets squished; and I’m constantly editing, but it works beautifully for me – has for almost 35 years. And I NEVER feel that I’m not properly dressed or that I’m not wearing the right thing for the specific event.  I feel very spoiled to live like this.  It’s much more luxurious than being a slave to an addiction.

closing

 

  1. I am so glad you had the smelling salts to get you through this one!! I love how you get right to the issue. I have heard of a 1 year rule, but never a the 2 year rule! It’s kinda amazing that they placed a “limit” of FIVE of the SAME item, without blushing. You’re right, Hi-five for the sewists!! It was fun to read, thanks!

    • Yeah, that was fun to write! It’s a fun (and hopefully under-the-radar) way to talk about something that is really a huge problem. It’s not the clothes really; it’s about the experience – the high we get from buying. The problem is that we don’t wear it. It’s almost like a hoarding epidemic. But of course clothing marketers and beancounters aren’t going to stop the pressure to buy a lot. They don’t care if it’s a problem or promoting a problem or even if you wear the garment. They just want you to buy and buy and buy and buy…….

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